Failblog and FML Friday is here again!

And not a moment too soon








Now this next one I really can't believe got past advertisers or the editors.



why were doomed...


I bet she does












Now FML...
Today, after a late night at the bars, I stepped into my building's elevator with a Chinese man who was carrying a plastic bag. Without thinking I said, "Oooh, are you still delivering?" His response, "I live here." FML

Today, after a late night at the bars, I stepped into my building's elevator with a Chinese man who was carrying a plastic bag. Without thinking I said, "Oooh, are you still delivering?" His response, "I live here." FML

Today, my friend's son asked me how much coke costs in this place. I told him "about a dollar?" He said "wow, that's really cheap for blow." He's 10. FML

Today, I asked my boyfriend to have sex. He told me he would rather play ps3. FML

Today, I decided to send my boyfriend a pic text of me naked. I accidently sent it to my dad and got a text back saying "You definitely take after your mom". FML

Today, my mom decided to tell me about her new boyfriend. I know him. I've slept with him. FML

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. When he was about to orgasm, he screamed "Yes Brittany!" at the top of his lungs. My name's not Brittany. That's his sister. FML

Today, I woke up to my car covered in shaving cream and tampons and the word CHEATER written on my windshield in lipstick. The guy a few doors down from me in my dorm has the same car as me. I'm a virgin. FML

Today, I noticed a prospective employer I had been networking with changed her last name on her e-mail signature. I wished the aquaintence congratulations on her new marriage. Her divorce was finalized this week. FML

Today, my wife told me that if she had a penny for every time I had brought her to climax she'd have change for a nickel. We've been married for 16 years. FML

Today, was the first time I saw a man's sex organs in real life. I was in anatomy dissection class and had to pull the cadaver's testicles out of his scrotum. FML

Today, my virgin guy friend told me he wanted me to be his first. I'm a guy. FML

Today, I texted my boyfriend saying hi. His response, "I got your best friend pregnant". FML

Today, I learnt that nail polish remover is, in fact, VERY flammable. And I learnt it the hard way. FML

Today, I heard my sister masturbating in her room. I took the dog around the block to get out of the house, and I came back to see her leaving her room... my electric toothbrush in her hand. FML